Friday, January 10, 2014

Quarter-motherhood life crisis

"There is often a moment in a young mother's life when she looks at her life and no longer recognizes herself in that life."

"While motherhood does have the potential to shape us into these amazing, improved versions of ourselves, in the beginning, it feels much more like we shrink from the nobility of it all. In that moment when we glance at the piles of laundry, hear the temper tantrum in the background and see our current reflection in the mirror, we don’t feel strong or dynamic. We feel lost and overwhelmed."

-Motherhood identity crisis quoted from


These days, there are just too many crisis. From financial crisis to midlife crisis and now motherhood identity crisis. Along the line, there is also something called quarter-life crisis. Then, there's mid-motherhood crisis. I am definitely experiencing something in between, perhaps a mixture of quarter-life crisis and midlife crisis, blended with motherhood identity crisis. With no exact fit of the above, I'm coining it as quarter-motherhood life crisis.

I have 2 young preschoolers to keep (all) my time occupied. I feel blessed, but sometimes I feel stuck in a rut with Barney replaying at least 3 times a day on my tv. Besides getting constant no for an answer, my daily routine is far from exciting and it's starting to feel like a chore. That are my feelings on good days. On my bad days, when both of them are screaming and having monstrous meltdowns, I want to jump into my bathtub and soak in till the sun comes down. Then I start to question my decision of having children before I hit 30 (not that I don't love them but all mothers will agree that children can be overwhelming at times) and that's how my quarter-motherhood life crisis starts.....

I wish to:
1)... look like 26 again.
2)... feel 21 again.
3)... sleep as much as I want.
4)... have biweekly facials and spas.
5)... shop till I drop.
6)... colour my nails midnight black.
7)... put on make up & party till dawn.
8)... earn a 5-figure monthly income in my pyjamas.
9)... wear a 5-inches stilettos.
10)... go for vacations after vacations.

But the bitter fact is:
1) Someone just called me 'aunty' and I have a pair of saggy breasts.
2) I feel like a high-paying maid.
3) I sleep 6 hours a day. I need at least 8.
4) I pamper myself at home with pre-chilled el-cheapo face mask because I am a budget tai-tai.
5) My daily retail therapy includes shopping for vegs and meats at the wet market.
6) With black coloured nails, my staunch Christian parents-in-law would think I befriended Judas.
7) I start yawning every 10 seconds once it's past 10.30 p.m these days.
8) I'm still working towards the FIVE.
9) I'm thinking of wearing my Louboutin to the pasar so that I can get a better view of the fishes for sale.
10) Vacation with children is not a vacation.

Oh. And I want a solid Range Rover to go with the above wish list.

Do I regret motherhood? No. But I miss my party life.

No comments:

Post a Comment