Brownie love

It's 5.54 a.m. It was a sleepless night. And no, it wasn't because of the baby.

It all started with a harmless bath. I knew Brownie's not fond of me cleaning his ears all along but I would never imagine he would be so defensive, especially with me. Barely 2 years ago, my mom was bitten by Brownie when she tried to clear some leaves at the backyard. Since the leaves are so-called his toys, it got him into very defensive mode and subsequently an attack. Mom suffered serious injuries which required stitches and micro veins surgery. Fortunately for me, I was able to fend off his attacks earlier. I escaped with some long scratches on both my thighs, slightly on the side of my nose and bruises on my left arm.

Brownie has been with me for 8 years now. When people suggested putting him to sleep for good, I couldn't accept it. To me, it's more than just the love I have for my four-legged friend that prevent me from putting him to sleep. I personally blame his aggression on myself. When Brownie was in his early years, he was once abused by the landlord whom I rented room from. I was back at my parents' place during Chinese New Year when it happened. Since they were very much against having a dog back then, I was forced to leave him behind with some food and water for a week. When I went home that night, Brownie was behaving very oddly with some dried blood on his neck and back. He shivers when he sees my landlord. I moved out but it was too late for Brownie as he was too traumatised. It was my fault. From that day on, I never went back to my parents' place. I swore to never leave Brownie.

After yesterday's incident, my family is asking me to reconsider the idea of putting him to sleep. Since I am the only person who's able to control him, I lost the control when he attacked me. As they say, animals are... well, animals and I shouldn't be soft hearted when things have gotten out of hand this far.

At the back of my mind, I know they are right and I'm forced to make a decision that'll make me feel guilty for life. If a child commits crime due to parents negligence, should the parents put the child to sleep when it was clearly their mistakes for not bringing up the child properly? What makes us, human more superior in a way to play God and determine animals lives, whether they should live or die?

And we too, in a way are animals only with much higher intelligence, no?