Tick tock tick tock.
I have less than 56 hours to go before the scheduled cesarean. Suddenly it feels like I'm running out of time. I have so much to do... or rather so much to taste before I'm confined to ginger, ginger and more ginger!
Then these silly questions keep running through my mind.
"What if I don't survive the c-sec?" (It is a major abdominal surgery anyway)
"What will happen to my children if I really don't survive the surgery?"
Thus I started calling Rockwills to write a will and to name legal guardians for my child. Then this morning I went to the bank to open a joint account and transferred every single penny I have under Meagan's name. I packed all insurance policies that I have and passed it to my parents, just in case something happens to me. Yes, I know I'm starting to get paranoid and I need to stop thinking silly.
As for tomorrow, I'm making Meagan's favourite food for freezing, enough to last her 2 weeks while I recuperate and busy with her lil' brother. Plus, I need to spring clean the whole house except that this time it's not for chinese new year. And not forgetting to pack the hospital bag. The experts called it 'nesting' which occurs to most mothers to be but I feel like I'm going bonkers.
Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world.
Nesting brings about some unique and seemingly irrational behaviors in pregnant women and all of them experience it differently. Women have reported throwing away perfectly good sheets and towels because they felt the strong need to have "brand new, clean" sheets and towels in their home. They have also reported doing things like taking apart the knobs on kitchen cupboards, just so they could disinfect the screws attached to the knobs. Women have discussed taking on cleaning their entire house, armed with a toothbrush. There seems to be no end to the lengths a nesting mother will go to prepare for her upcoming arrival.